A thank you message after a burial lets the family thank the people who stood by them. The appreciation may be printed in the programme, read out at the service, sent on WhatsApp, or placed in a newspaper. This guide gives you thirty-five sample appreciation messages after a burial that you can copy, and helps you decide who to name.
Where the appreciation goes
- In the burial programme. Usually on the last page or inside the back cover. It is written before the burial, so it thanks people in general terms.
- At the service or reception. A family member gives a vote of thanks. See vote of thanks at a funeral.
- On WhatsApp and social media. Sent in the days after, to family groups, church groups, colleagues and friends.
- In person. A visit or a call to those who carried the most. No message replaces this.
- At a thanksgiving service. Some families give thanks in church on the Sunday after the burial.
Who to thank
Write the list before you write the message. Most families thank these groups.
- The officiating ministers and the church
- The choir, ushers and church societies
- The extended family and in-laws
- Friends, neighbours and colleagues
- Societies, clubs, town unions and old students' groups
- Doctors, nurses and carers who looked after the person
- Those who gave money, food or their time
- Those who travelled, and those who sent messages from far away
Be careful with names. Naming ten people leaves out the eleventh. In print, it is safer to thank groups, and to name people only where everyone will agree, such as the officiating minister. Keep the personal thanks for calls and visits.
Appreciation message for the burial programme
Replace the words in brackets with your own details.
A short appreciation
The family of the late (title and full name) thanks you most sincerely for your love, prayers and support at this time. We cannot thank each of you one by one, but we ask God to reward you all. May He grant you a safe journey back to your homes.
A fuller appreciation
The entire (surname) family is deeply grateful to everyone who stood by us after the passing of our dear (mother, father), (title and full name).
We thank the clergy and members of (church) for their prayers and visits. We thank our in-laws, friends, neighbours and colleagues for their gifts, their time and their kind words. To all who travelled from far and near to be with us today, thank you.
May the Lord reward you, and may none of us mourn before our time.
A plain appreciation, without religious words
Thank you for being with us today. Your calls, visits and kindness since (name) died have meant more than we can say. Please accept this as our thanks to each one of you.
An appreciation from the children
We, the children of the late (title and full name), thank you from our hearts. You came, you called, you gave, and you prayed. You made a heavy time lighter. Our (mother, father) would have been glad to see you all. God bless you.
Thank you messages after the burial
Send these in the days after, on WhatsApp, by text or on a card.
To everyone
- On behalf of the (surname) family, I want to thank you all for your prayers, calls, visits and gifts during the burial of our (father, mother), (name). We felt your love. May God bless and keep you.
- Our family is grateful to everyone who stood with us as we laid (name) to rest. We will not forget your kindness.
- Thank you for coming, for calling and for praying. The burial went well, and we thank God and we thank you.
- We have read every message, even where we could not reply. Thank you for holding us up.
- From all of us in the (surname) family: thank you. Your presence was our comfort.
To the church and the pastor
- The family of the late (name) appreciates the pastor, the elders and every member of (church) for standing with us from the day Mama passed until she was laid to rest. Thank you for the visits, the service of songs and the burial service. God bless you all.
- Pastor, thank you for your visits, your prayers and the words you spoke at the service. They gave us strength.
- To the choir: thank you for singing Daddy home with the hymns he loved.
- We thank the (society, fellowship, guild) for honouring one of your own so well. She was proud to belong to you.
To friends and neighbours
- Thank you for cooking for our visitors all week. We did not have to think about food once, because of you.
- You sat with us when there was nothing to say. Thank you for being that kind of friend.
- Thank you for looking after the children and the house while we were away for the burial.
- To our neighbours: thank you for the chairs, the canopies, the water and your patience with the crowd. We are grateful.
To colleagues and your employer
- Thank you all for your messages, your contribution, and for those who came all the way to (town) for my father's burial. I am very grateful. I will be back at work on (date).
- I want to thank the management and staff of (company) for the support given to me and my family during my mother's burial. It meant a great deal.
- Thank you for covering my duties while I was away. I did not have to worry about work, and that was a gift.
To those who gave money or gifts
- Thank you for your generous support towards my mother's burial. It lifted a real weight from us. God will replenish you.
- We received your gift with thanks. May you never lack.
- Thank you for the wreath and for your kind words on the card. They were beautiful.
- Your support came at the moment we needed it most. Thank you.
To those who travelled
- Thank you for making the long journey to be with us. We know what it cost you in time and money, and we will not forget it.
- You came from (place) to stand with us. Thank you. We pray you had a safe journey home.
- Seeing your face at the graveside was a comfort I cannot describe. Thank you for coming.
To those who could not come
- Thank you for your calls and prayers. We know you were with us in spirit. The burial went well, and we thank God.
- Thank you for joining the service online and for the message you sent. We felt you with us.
- Distance kept you away, but your kindness reached us. Thank you.
To doctors, nurses and carers
- Thank you for the care you gave (name) in (his, her) last days. You treated (him, her) with dignity, and you were kind to us.
- To the staff of (hospital, ward): thank you for all you did. We saw how hard you worked.
To in-laws
- To our in-laws, thank you for standing with us as one family. You honoured our (mother, father), and you honoured us.
- Thank you for all you brought and all you did. We are grateful for the bond between our families.
A thank you post for Facebook or a status
Our family laid my (mother, father), (name), to rest on (date). I want to thank everyone who called, visited, sent messages, gave and travelled to be with us. I could not reply to you all, but I read every word. Thank you. Please keep us in your prayers.
Appreciation in a newspaper or on a thank you card
Some families place a notice in a newspaper, or print a small thank you card to give or post. Add the date of the burial, and sign it with the name of the head of the family or "for the family".
APPRECIATION
The family of the late (title and full name), who was laid to rest on (date), thanks the clergy, relatives, in-laws, friends and well-wishers for their prayers, presence and support.
We are unable to thank you each in person. Please accept this as our sincere appreciation. May God reward you all.
(Name), for the family
A thank you card usually carries a photo, the name and dates, and three or four lines of thanks. In Ghana a thanksgiving notice often gives the date and church for the thanksgiving service too.
Tips for writing your own
- Keep it short. Three or four sentences are enough for a message.
- Say what people did. "Thank you for cooking for our visitors all week" is better than "thank you for everything".
- Send it soon. Within a week or two is kind. Later is still better than never.
- Speak for the family. Use "we" in general messages. Use "I" when you thank someone for something they did for you.
- Leave money amounts out. Thank people for the gift. Do not state the figure.
- Check the name. Use the same name and titles as on the programme.
Questions people ask
How do you say thank you after a burial?
Say who is thanking, name what people did, and wish them well. For example: "On behalf of the (surname) family, thank you for your prayers, visits and gifts during the burial of our mother. We felt your love. God bless you."
What do you write in an appreciation message for a burial programme?
Thank the clergy and the church, the extended family and in-laws, friends, colleagues and all who travelled. Thank groups, not long lists of names, because the programme is printed before the day and someone is always left out.
How soon should thank you messages be sent after a funeral?
Within a week or two is kind. If more time has passed, send them anyway. People understand that a grieving family is slow to write.
Should I thank each person or send one message?
Send one general message to groups, and thank those who did the most with a call, a visit or a personal note. A general message alone is not enough for the few who carried the heaviest load.
Should I mention the amount of money someone gave?
No. Thank them for the gift and say what it helped with. Do not state the figure, in private or in public.
Related guides
To thank people aloud at the service, see vote of thanks at a funeral. A year later, see one year remembrance messages. If you are still planning, see what goes in a funeral programme.
Include it in the programme with Homegoing
Homegoing prints the family's appreciation on the back page of the funeral programme. You type it once, and it is set out for you. It also makes a free thank you card to send afterwards, and the full booklet, with the order of service, the life story and the tributes. Start a programme